Good morning everyone. Recently, I was referred to a case involving an 8-year-old girl whose father had tragically passed away in an industrial accident. Her mother was concerned about her daughter’s excessive internet use, spending over five hours per night watching Chinese dramas. Her exam result was poor and stopped talking to her mother.

When I first met her, she kept silent, avoiding eye contact and mumbling as if she felt guilty. Gradually as we built mutual trust, she began sharing dramas she watched with me, which mostly focused on family topics. These dramas were actually helping her to cope with the loss of her father and the absence of the father and daughter relationship.

Expressive art therapy was applied to her case. By drawing and painting, she found ways to express her emotions and dealt with the memories she wished she could have shared with her father. She even drew herself holding hands with her father at a park, a memory she cherished deeply. As she released her repressed grief, she became less rely on the internet and began developing healthier coping mechanisms.

While tools like time limits and internet restrictions help manage screen time, they are addressing behaviours but not the root cause. The root causes, such as unresolved grief or emotional struggles, must be identified and addressed. For this girl, her internet use was a way to cope with shattering loss.

This case indeed reflects a broader issue in Hong Kong. A recent study on Internet Gaming Disorder (IGD) revealed that 11.8% of around 4,300 students surveyed showed signs of IGD, with 27.7% spending four or more hours daily on online games. Excessive internet use can lead to negative consequences such as poor eyesight, abnormal bone development, obesity, memory loss, and difficulty concentrating. However, one of the most alarming effects is the strain it placed on family relationships, which often leads to conflicts and communication breakdowns.

Parents often worry about their children’s gaming habits, citing deterioration in academic performance, loss of interest in hobbies, and an inability to disconnect from their devices, even during meals. While "time-limiting" tools and device monitoring help regulate behaviour, these solutions cannot address the deeper needs driving excessive gaming. According to Glasser’s theory, all humans have five basic needs which are survival, power, love and belonging, freedom, and fun. For Hong Kong students, academic success or sports performance often fulfills the need for power and satisfaction. However, the city's competitive and high-pressure studying environment make it difficult for students to meet these needs. As a result, they would rather turn to video games, where effort is rewarded with rankings, badges, and achievements, providing a sense of power and satisfaction.

Furthermore, gaming offers a sense of belonging. Many students team up with classmates or online friends to play games, forming communities where they feel accepted and included. These emotional needs—such as love, belonging, and accomplishment—are often missing in the real life, thus they turn to gaming in order to escape from the real life.

Before addressing gaming addiction, it is crucial to understand the underlying needs and tackle the root causes. Family plays a key role in the intervening process. Establishing clear rules and boundaries early on, negotiating screen time, and ensuring children balance their time between studying, resting, and family interactions are essential steps. Encouraging diverse interests like sports, arts, and social activities can also help students build a support system and reduce their reliance on gaming. Fostering open communication in the family, where children feel that their feeling is being heard and understood, is of equal importance.

Schools can also contribute by boosting awareness and understanding of online gaming addiction. Educational programs on internet safety and gaming risks can equip students with knowledge and self-management skills to prevent addiction.

While the challenges of managing excessive internet use and gaming addiction may seem daunting, they are not unconquerable. By addressing the emotional and developmental needs behind these behaviours, families, schools, and the community can work together to help children build a healthier habit. These efforts take time, patience, and understanding, but they pave ways to a brighter future where children feel supported, balanced, and emotionally fulfilled.

Our service, “Net” Education and Counselling Service of Hong Kong Family Welfare Society provides a WhatsApp messaging and hotline for enquiring any concerns like Internet addiction, online dating and so on, feel free to contact us at 5592 7474.